Sunday, March 8, 2009

...and God Bless that Starbucks Barista

God Bless the Starbucks Barista that made my Grande Decaf Mocha this evening.

I have not had Starbucks in a while. This due to a closet "every once in a while" addiction that turned into an every Sunday habit...ending with a "well, I'm heading down Hwy 100 anyhow" twice a week occurance. Lets face it: My $4.00+ per cup is better spent on Pediasure or Pull-Ups. Ok, ok, my waistline doesn't need the calories either.

Whoever came up with the idea of putting Starbucks in a Target: genius. As I was leaving Target tonight, that "Starbucks scent" overcame me and my cart magically steered itself next to the register. I settled for a smaller size, still feeling as though I was indulging myself. The barista (fancy name for Starbucks employee who is always in a better mood than I am) asked my name. Never, ever have they asked my name. She wrote it on the cup and soon I had a Starbucks coffee, with my name on it. I so needed that today. A little something to perk up my day...something that was all mine.

I hurried across the parking lot trying to dodge the yucky rain/sleet/snow mixture we've been getting since yesterday. Of course, trying not to spill my coveted cup of coffee. When I reached my trunk, I laughed at myself, realizing I had been "cautiously" running to the car over a stupid cup of coffee. I slipped into the driver seat, and slowly enjoyed my beverage on my ride home.

It has been a very emotional couple of weeks. Jeremy and I have found ourselves extremely exhausted. Way too many "serious" conversations. Realizing that we cannot stretch ourselves so thin and acknowledging our limitations. Learning how to say "No" when you need to say "No" (anyone who knows us knows this word is rarely in our vocabulary).

We have learned that in AJ's world, you don't have time to stop. While we are elated that we have a surgery date, activation date, and excited about the gains he's made in the last two weeks...there is always more to do. After his surgery date was finalized, I called his audiologist to inform her of the other surgery that is scheduled for early May. I knew his activation would be around the same time, and we do NOT want to wait to activate him after the other surgery. I also found myself digging through his paperwork to find the names of the anesethiologists he's had in the past. I called our Birth to 3 coordinator to invite another person to AJ's transition meeting and called another Mom who has a CP/CI kiddo to update her on AJ and ask her my usual 10,000 questions. Having a kiddo that is deaf AND has cerebral palsy...whole different ball of wax. A ball of wax that she "gets". I also found time to freak out over the intensive therapy information I received in the mail, and research craniosacral therapy in depth.

While we were excited for AJ to begin toddler group, his Mommy had internal anxiety about it and had emotions that surfaced that she didn't expect. We continue to plan for what will happen after his 3rd birthday and for his schooling to begin in September. We continue to work on the house, slowly but surely. We are preparing and researching bilateral implants so we can submit for a 2nd implant as soon as possible after AJ's 1st implant is activated.

Friday, AJ started a cold. It has progressively gotten worse. My trip to Target tonight included the purchase of more tissues and a cool mist humidifier. With his teething and cold, of course he is not eating all that well. We aren't panicking, but are trying to give him what we can and waiting for him to rebound soon. One of Jeremy's rep's at work was very kind and gave us AJ's two favorite flavors of Pediasure. When all else fails, Pediasure works, along with his new favorite food: animal crackers. AJ has been a trooper all weekend, until tonight. All he wanted was to be in Daddy's arms. Our little man is so brave. With all he's been through, he continues to be OUR STRENGTH. We have a very sick little boy, who will be missing toddler group tomorrow, only to enjoy another trip to the doctor to check for a URI and/or ear infections.

I forgot to mention that all FOUR of AJ's blood tests came back negative. While that is good news, its still doesn't help us determine why he's not gaining weight. So, we'll see what he weighs in 2 months. If he does not gain, they will do an endoscopy.

Tonight, we ate dinner out of a box and fed AJ custard. He's finally sleeping, I'm blogging, and Jer is watching the World Baseball Classic. A nice relaxing evening to a whirlwind couple of weeks.

And...again, thank you to the barista for making my coffee ALL MINE. I really needed that tonight.

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