Naturally

Last night Jeremy and I watched a few shows from our DVR list, one of them being "Off the Map".  If you haven't seen it, its the newest creation from the minds of those who created Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice.  We said we wouldn't get sucked in.  We did. 

The episode was called There's Nothing to Fix. {You can watch it by clicking on the episode title} While there are always multiple story lines, one in particular sucked Jer and I further in. 

A set of new adoptive parents brings their baby girl to the clinic.  Something is wrong, and they aren't sure what.  The parents share how they've traveled in a group and everyone else's baby is perfect, and they can't even get her to burp.  One blood test later, the child is diagosed with leukemia.  Options: return her to the orphange or keep her and deal with the leukemia.  The parents forge forward, until the mother is drapped in a gown and mask and someone hands the baby to her.  She freaks out and leaves.  The mother decides she doesn't want to parent, so they ask the clinic to call the orphange.  Before the orphange comes, the father is found next to his daughter and pledges to be her father, even when that means divorcing his wife.  He picks the baby girl up and knows exactly what his purpose in life is.

Now, set aside your thoughts about my corny review, and realize I just about bawled myself right off the couch while Jeremy said "Awwwww," aloud. 

I don't think parenting comes naturally to all.  I really don't  Clearly, this woman was a good actor because I wanted to reach through the screen, punch her, and scream this baby neeeeds you.

One of the questions I despise hearing is "How do you do it?" 

I think I've changed my answer to this question. It used to be "You just do."  For some it is that way, for others it is not.  Parenting is hard enough.  Parenting special needs, and multiple special needs is a whooooooole different ball of wax.  I chose to be a parent.  To me, thats very black and white.  Either you are a parent, or you don't want to be.  Black. White.

As soon as I saw my son's referral photo, he was my son.  Plain and simple.  I took on the duty of getting him home as soon as possible.  If that meant filling out a billion forms. Fine.  If that meant interviews.  Fine.  If that meant visiting him in a foreign country twice.  Absolutely.  We were fighting for him even before he was in our arms.   We've always felt a sense of urgency when it comes to AJ.

When he was diagnosed, that only made us fight harder.  Ugh.  That mother character from the show is still rubbing me the wrong way. 

When AJ was placed in my arms for the very first time, I knew I was meant to be his Mommy.  Walking away has never been an option. No matter what, we keep loving.  We keep fighting on his behalf.  Because to us, its natural.