Why There?

Why There?

Well, after a horrid and short experience with domestic adoption, Jeremy and I chose International Adoption.

We chose there, being Guatemala, for several reasons:

1) The children were coming home under 1 year of age (ate the time we applied)

2) They only required one trip

3) The trip was only a few days, compared to a few weeks

4) Guatemala was just a few hours by plane

5) The children were with foster mothers who were privately paid by the adoption attorneys, or they were in orphanges privately owned and operated by adoption attorneys or church groups.  The government had their hands essentially "out of it", which meant better care for the children (I use this last phrase loosely).

Guatemala is an absolutely gorgeous country.  The traffic in Guatemala city was insane.  I wouldn't want to be that guy standing at what looked like an 8-way intersection blowing a whistle.  I can still hear the sound of fresh rain and the loud buses that would pass our hotel on their daily route.  I remember sitting on the upper front porch of our hotel and feeling like the world was just passing us by.  It was a slower, more relaxed pace. 

We were leary of Russia and most other European countries for multiple reasons.  I had once heard a story (from a reliable source) that a teenage girl adopted from Russia had cut herself multiple times and held her adoptive mother at knife point.  Um, no thank you.  China's wait was too long and adoptions at the time were halted.  Romania had just closed.  Vietnam had just opened up again only to close several weeks later due to kidnappings.  It was insane.  Roll the dice, pick a place.  Pick a child.  Pick your future.

We though Guatemala was the safest as far as the health & mental health of a child.  The children were coming home generally healthy and adjusting well.  With the children coming home earlier in life, adjust was a bit easier.  Being in foster homes and private orphanges meant they were loved and cared for better than a typical government institution. 

This story about this adoptive Mom returning her child is disturbing to me.  It makes me sad to say that adoption is sometimes, not all flowers and roses.  Especially when you are told to be realistic in your process, yet reassured a hundred bajillion times that things will be just fine. While our situations are grossly different, there is a common thread.  I think what this adoptive mom did was inhumane, and sets a horrible example for the adoptive parent.  But on the other hand, to some tiny little extent, I get what she is trying to say.  While I don't think she went about it the right away AT ALL, she clearly feels misled. 

I could write an entire book on how the adoption world needs to be revamped and reworked.  Most of all, the red tape needs to be removed.  Why do you think these children have mental issues?  Part of the reason is the process takes so freakin' long!!  Adoption is, in most cases, a last chance to become a parent.  Often, the decision comes fresh from failed fertility treatments or other issues. The decision is not made lightly, and your dreams are set high, period.  You expect, what you expect, and thats that.  I could go on, and on, and on....

**Off my soapbox now**