Dear Baby Girl ~ January 2014

Dear Baby Girl,

It's the last day of January. The last few weeks have been full of action and news.  The first news we learned was that you will not be moved from your current home.  Praise God!  I can't tell you how many sleepless nights Mommy had over the thought of you being moved to another place.  Just moments after I shared our fear on the blog we received confirmation that you will not be moved.

Our dossier arrived in Bulgaria.  It takes my breathe away to know that it is the same country as you are.  Mind-blowing.  The last we heard was that it was in translation.

And then the not-so-fun and not-great-for-you news...

We learned that our pick-up trip, to come and get you will indeed be 12-15 days instead of the initial 5 days.  Things are changing in the midst of this process. As much as we try not to dwell on projected days and timelines, it naturally happens.  It just does.  We all crave a little structure, don't we?  This trip will require additional funding and makes Mommy worry about being away from your brother for that long.  This is going to be a big adjustment for ALL of us.

We also learned that some of the paperwork process has changed, which means this:

MOJ Log-in
Travel to Meet
Return Home
File I-800 with US Immigration (follow-up to our initial immigration application)
Wait for approval
Approval is sent to US Embassy in Bulgaria
US Embassy notifies MOJ via Article 5 Letter
THEN our case goes to Bulgarian Court
(Court Approval)
(Pickup)

No movement will be made on our case on the Bulgarian side until our I-800 is approved and the MOJ is notified.

There will be more than a month or so between our trips.  And I am heartbroken.  Right this very moment I long to rock you to sleep.  It's night time here and I've been struggling to focus on an assignment when all I want to do is rock you to sleep.  Sing you lullabies and know you are safe.

Safe in my arms. Snuggled tight. In the rocker Grandma Cheri just finished for you.  It's beautiful and makes me long for you even more.

Have you ever seen a mobile?  The fan in your room has three small lights with glass domes over them.  When the fan runs, the light bounces around the walls.  It looks like diamonds dancing on the wall  and reminded me of a nighttime projector your brother had when he was little.

Are you by a window?  Can you see the stars?  Do you make wishes?

Do you have a blanket to keep you warm?  Do you hear a comforting voice at night?

I would run to the moon and back for you, baby girl.  You are so loved and now that we are even closer to meeting you, SO missed.  I cry thinking of our first meeting.  I cry leaving you on the first day. I cry leaving you at the end of first trip.  I'm sort of crying all the time. Daddy and I hug A LOT without saying a word.

We will endure this process, we will do whatever it takes.

But it doesn't mean this is easy or fair.

None of this is fair to you.  This waiting.

You should have your dancing diamonds and most of all-LOVE.  Real.whole.human.love.

We love you baby girl.

Good Night Sweetheart.  We'll see you soon (I hope).




Love,

Mommy and Daddy