Sunday, June 30, 2013

The Conversation

We have a referral!


Yes, a referral.  For a little girl in Bulgaria.

But Heidi, you just started the adoption process.


The last week has been an absolute whirlwind...but let's start at the beginning, with the conversation that changed it all.

H: Me
D: Our social worker at our homestudy agency
Place in time: The day we posted our adoption puzzle fundraiser on Facebook

D: Hi Heidi.
H: Hi D.  (Thinking why is she calling me...with another question of some sort?)

D: So, we received an email from another agency.  They are looking for a family for this litte girl.
H: Ok. (Still not getting the picture)

D: The have a short deadline.  They need to find her a family in the next week or she goes back into the adoption system.  They are asking cooperating agencies if any of their families are interested.
H: What?!

D: Here is some general information about her....
H: Uh huh. Uh huh.  Writing furiously on our writey board.

D: Now, where are you with the other agency?
H: I explain.  Not.that.far. Except I just sent in our formal application...with the fee.

D: I have to warn you, this agency is very conservative as to what type of families they will accept.
H: Translation-they may not accept us due to Jer's medical whoo-ha.

D: It is a possibility.  Let me see if I can get more information for you.  In the meantime, I will let them know you are potentially interested. Sound good?
H: Ooooookey dok.

Click. "Jer!!!!!!"

I stare at all of the scribbles on our writey board and our patio table...which has glass tiles...because I ran out of room on the writey board.

The next day our conversation continues:

D: I was able to obtain more information.  She continues on....
H: I squash more writing inbetween the previous days scribbling on our writey board.  I ask questions as she spits out more and more information.

D: Are you still interested?
H: Yes!

D: Let's have you send the medical letters you obtained for Jeremy to me and I will forward them to the agency.
H: I can do that.

D: The director has already asked to see your old homestudy.
H: Holy cannoli.

D: I will let you know what they say.
H: Ok!

Three days later...

I get an email:

D: Here is the referral information.  Please let me know ASAP if you are interested and would like to proceed. See attachments.
H: Is she joking?  I emailed her back before opening anything and asked, "Are they (the agency) ok with us?" or...

D: They are open to you!

H: (Tick, tick, tick).  Do I open the attachments.  Do I not?  I decided to open her general medical information first.  This is what a Mama looks like when she reads the word "abandoned" on her child's referral:

I am the world's ugliest crier-but I really wanted to capture my emotion.  I started to shake.
Jeremy called just as I was opening her photos and videos.  I was instantly reminded of the moment we received AJ's referral.  I opened one picture first and then watched her "live" in a video.
I read the rest of her reports.  I watched all of the videos and the picture slideshow over and over and over. Is this really happening?  AJ had passed out on the guest bed, so I had some time let this marinate.

D: Call the agency directly and speak to M.  She will tell you the next steps.
H: (Shaking). Ok.

M: Hello Heidi!  I'm so glad to finally talk to you!  You and Jeremy have such expertise and such experience.
H: Why thank you.

M: What I want you to do is think this all over.  You know the ropes.  Take her information and share with doctors, specialists, etc.  Then let me know your decision.
H: I will do so.  I know she was referred to another family-why didn't that work out?

M: She explains...
H: My heart aches for this family.
M: So glad we touched base!
H: Me too.  This is CRAZY.


If you are familiar with international adoption at all, you know this is not the typical process.

Apply to your agency or agencies
Completely homestudy
Work on dossier
Dossier is sent to country

Our experience:
Announce we are adopting
A week later-REFERRAL

Only One can make this possible.

After a week of running around like a chicken (I had forgotten how much running around you do!) and taking fun pictures like these, I we knew a decision had to be made.

AJ carrying his little sister's referral infomation
to the pediatrician's office.

AJ at our homestudy agency-where his own journey began.

On Friday I got a call from M.  They needed a decision.  We made the decision to accept her referral.  God is good.  He is faithful.  He is carrying us on this crazy joy ride.  She was meant to be ours and we were meant to be her forever family.

Conversations can be meaningful; but in this case?

These conversations were life-changing....

He makes ALL things possible.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jeremy and Heidi, I continue to get your updates on AJ and see how much he has grown mentally, physically and spiritually. You will be awesome parents for this new child. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. It sounds like you are doing well Jeremy. Hopefully we will meet up again at a state conference in the future. I'm going to national this year in Philadelphia. Would love to connect sometime.
    Pam Lee


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