Here's to A New Year

Today certainly did not feel like the last day in December.  Our weather has been more like spring the last two days, with today's temperature hitting 50 degrees and melting all of our snow. 

I'm not sure how a new year is upon us.

Already.

2010.  We are not sad to see it go, to say the least. 

My sweet Gram left us on Ash Wednesday. AJ's 2nd CI surgery (May) seems like it was lightyears ago and was relatively uneventful considering the events that followed.  Jeremy's scary diagnosis of multiple sclerosis threw both of us completely out of our element...as if we had such a thing to begin with.  Let me assure you, when you are 28.75 years old, you do not think about such things happening to your life partner.  AJ's birthday was a blur, as was his 2nd CI activation.  Each attempt at a mini-vacation was soured.  The pressure to move became overwhelming. And lets not forget AJ's new diagnosis of epilepsy.

Each year, Jeremy and I hope that this will be our year.  Not for smooth sailing, or that easy-button on the Staples commercial (nice but not realistic).  For a few less bumps, for a break or two, for less drama, less stress, less tears.

Despite all this, our marriage grows stronger.  We laugh at each other constantly and worry about each other just as much.  We're growing into our own groove as a family, which has its ups and downs.  Friendships have grown stronger, some have grown weaker.  We have reached the depths of being so emotionally drained, that we can't function.  We hold each other up, grieve with each other, and support one another. We take care of each other.

I grew a bit more into my own this year, and continue to do so.  Jeremy's career blossomed and opened new doors and opportunities aplenty.

AJ has grown and tolerated all that goes on around him like the SuperStar he is.  He just amazes me.  He wakes up every morning with a clean fresh slate smile that can take on the world.    Despite my heartache about certain things, AJ has made tremendous progress. 

I find it so hard to believe that he'll soon turn 5.  5 years old.  When did that happen?  He's lost his baby face and now grins at me with total boy naughtiness glimmering in his eyes.  He's everywhere, and into everything, just like little boys should be. 

What will 2011 bring?

2011 will bring us a new home.  Around 4am on the morning after Christmas, it suddenly hit me that it was our last Christmas in this house.  With the realtor coming last night, it feels like everything is suddenly happening, very fast. 

We are hopeful Jeremy will remain symptom-free.  We are hopeful AJ's communication skills will increase and that he'll continue to make such terrific gains in his additional therapies.  We are hopeful our move will go as smoothly as possible and that we'll find the right house with ease.  We are hopeful for some positive changes in our lives!

I hope to finish my book sooner than later and stop holding back what I really want to say.  Contrary to popular belief, I do have a filter.  I rather large and thick one...depending on the context.  I am also hoping to take more time for myself and figure out what exactly I want to be other than/in addition to being AJ's Mom. I'm looking forward to turning our new house into our home.  Jeremy is looking forward to his dartball tournaments and finishing his BA (very soon!) and moving on to his Master's.

2011 also brings our 10th wedding anniversary and our first long vacation EVER to Hawaii.  We lay in bed most mornings and sigh at the thought of just sleeping all day...with palm trees swaying in the breeze.
I'm still not sure how we've been married 10 years already....

Happy New Year!