"I Don't Recall"

My mind has been all too foggy lately.  In fact, a friend posted "I have the attention span of a goldfish today" a few weeks ago and I've adopted that as my "I can't focus" creed.

Seriously.  Last week it was the attention span of a guppie.  On Monday, I slipped even further and said it was that of a sea cucumber.

So when a friend and I were chatting today and I couldn't answer the question of how many electrodes are firing on each of his cochlear implants...I hung up feeling moronic.  I know, I'm my own worst critic.  But seriously, this is stuff I know. This is something I KNOW. know I've asked his audiology team.  In fact, I've seen the electrodes in all their charty glory on the computer screen not once, but multiple times!

Why couldn't I remember?

Oh yeah.  I'm old.

In all seriousness, the sheer magnitude and variety of issues AJ has me juggling is making me increasingly perplexed.  I'm finding it extremely difficult to focus on just one thing.  Because when you focus on just one, the others fall to the wayside.  Believe me, I know. It's a balance, they say.   I'm still struggling with what to keep and what to toss in regards to this boy's massive paper trail.  Do I really need all of his ER discharge sheets?  Do I continue the mass medical binders with tabs for each specialty/area, or do I make smaller binders per specialty?  I'm back to writing my daily to-do's specifically for AJ in a specific notebook. Its been my saving grace.

Earlier this week, while discussing his new conjunction, junction, whats your function...scoliosis!  issue another friend asked, "I really don't know how you do it all. It seems like one thing after another."  For the first time EVER, I agreed with her and said, "You know I don't know either.  I do what I can."

And I drink wine.  Wine helps.