Monday, November 9, 2015

Coming Home....Day 3 {A Reflection}

{Day 3}
Today was a beautiful day. Not in terms of weather, but in terms of all things Mimi.
This morning started out with breakfast, as usual. She figured out the elevator takes her to eat, so she gets pretty excited.

We came upstairs and decided to play. And I mean play. The weather has been damp, cold, and rainy the entire time we’ve been here. We colored, we discovered playdoh, we worked on our English, we put puzzles together and tried on everyone’s shoes-again.
She waited patiently for both her lunch and dinner in the restaurant. This place is awesome. The food is so good and the staff is amazing. Mimi managed to charm everyone she came in contact with, from the British man in the lift (did I just say lift?!) to the business meeting that let out as we were entering the restaurant for lunch. I was having a coronary waiting watching her wait, waiting for the meltdown that never came. Parenthood should come with wine. Well, we have stores that sell wine and places that serve it, so I guess that counts.
She came to us willingly, both when we asked her to and of her own free will. She wanted to sit on our laps.
She only had two temper tantrums today, which were mild in comparison to the last two days and were of the “I am 3” flavor. She has very little tolerance for dropping or losing things. As in she get very upset and screeches. I attribute this to living with 14 other tiny (precious of course) vultures. Nothing was exclusively hers. So if she drops the playdoh or a cup, or a piece of roll she freaks out. Not today. Not once. She’s a natural fighter, with a fighting spirit. It’s the way she has survived the thrived. She needs to learn that there will always be enough food, enough water, enough of what she needs. She will learn to have things of her own and how to share.
I have literally seen her entire being RELAX.
I woke from an unexpected nap (translation: Mommy passed out on the bed) and asked Jer were she was. He told me to roll over. There she was, sleeping next to me. 

Didn’t I just write yesterday that she doesn’t nap so we aren’t forcing it?I remember she had got on the bed and crawled over me but I just assumed she had gotten down and started frolicking as usual. She did not.
People. This is awesome.
This girl’s hardest part of the day is bedtime/sleep. We knew this ahead of time, as we were told she doesn’t like to go to sleep. If an adult is in the room with her that she respects, she’ll stay in bed, but she’ll still scream (and I mean SCREAM). The pattern is panic/angry screaming followed by rocking sitting up and then flopping over on her stomach just before she falls asleep. When she wakes in the middle of the night she rocks back to sleep. When she’s up for the day, but knows she’s not supposed to get out of bed (her thoughts, not mine) she will begin to do this VERY quiet rhythmic whine that changes tone and gets a bit panicky the longer she’s awake. I heard that the first morning, but not this morning.
One of the most difficult things has been for me to watch both my children rock as a self-stimulation. She’s been self-soothing herself to sleep since she’s been born. You can’t just break that. No gangbuster approach is going to do any good.
Tonight I thought I’d hold her and walk around the room singing. The minute I picked her up she realized that bedtime was coming and lost it. The screaming, the tears, the flipping backwards all ensued. I moved to the chair, where we had sat earlier in the day and started humming instead of singing, thinking the language difference was bothering her.
Sure enough…she began to calm. She strokes her curls for comfort. Oh my heavens. So I followed suit and repeated Mama, Mimi, ok. Mama, Mimi, good. Over and over and over. Once she calmed I put her in bed. She rocked briefly and then fell asleep. She responded so well.
Tomorrow we go to have the US Embassy required medical exam and TB blood test drawn. Please say a prayer for her. And us. Exhaustion set in today. Gentle progress, friends.

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